Asuma's Lament
by kittyjordz
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! Don't read lest ye have read the MOST RECENT manga chaps! Kurenai reflects on her relationship with Asuma. ASUXKURE!


(An: o wow! This is a one shot fic...those of you keeping up to date with the manga should be the ONLY ones reading this! It's a ficlet about Kurenai and how she deals with Asuma's death.)

Disclaimer: I own zilch, zero, nada, nine, and nothing!

The day seemed as grim as my mood. The clouds were a deep set gray, giving birth to ice cold droplets of rain every so often. The perfect day for a funeral I think. It had been so cold today, colder then it should have been. Or maybe, it was just me, my heart frozen now. The one man I had ever loved was now gone. He was somewhere I couldn't follow; I would never see him again.

"Kurenai-sensei, we should head to the funeral" Kiba said as he took my arm. I had zoned out again. It was the third time on the way there I had done so. My old Genin team, all Chuunin now, smiled, trying to ease me. But it was to no avail. I had not let a soul see me mourn, except Asuma's favourite student, Shikamaru. He had told me what had occurred.

I had felt it the moment Asuma took his mission. I wanted too much to disbelieve something bad would occur. I knew deep down though, I knew I would never see him again. He had come to see me one more time, before he and his team headed out.

* * *

"Kurenai, we're heading out to try and take on Akatsuki. They took out a good friend of mine, we must stop them." Asuma said as he rolled a cigarette between his fingers, never once lighting it up.

"Are you sure it must be your team to go? I get a very bad feeling Asuma." I paused staring at his fingers playing with the cigarette; it was not like him not to smoke it. "Asuma, there's more to this isn't there?" I asked putting my hands onto my hips. He looked up me, his deep set brown eyes filled with concern and worry.

"It will be fine! I'll be back here with you before you know it! I have something to ask you then too. I promise you, I'll be back Kurenai. You have my word." Asuma said placing a light kiss upon my lips. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. It was the Fifth's wish and Asuma seemed determined to go. There was no way I would stop him.

"Please come home to me, Asuma." I said softly, trying not to look him directly in the eyes. He wasn't showing his worry, it was only right I don't show mine. I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him as tight as I could. He in turn, did the same thing. I felt his head come to rest upon my own and felt him inhale deeply.

"You know you're the only woman I think I will ever love Kurenai?" he said. It still brought a slight blush to my face whenever he said this. I looked up at him and smiled. I stood upon my toes and pushed my lips to his, almost craving him. He reciprocated and I think we both wished it could have lasted forever.

"Captain Asuma, we need to get going. Sorry Kurenai." Kotetsu said as he looked to his partner, Izumo. I nodded, finally letting go of Asuma. "Asuma, we'll meet you down by the gate." And with that the two of them were gone. I sighed yet again. The bad feeling would not leave the pit of my stomach.

"I love you, Asuma." I said, in what might very well have been a desperate attempt to keep him close. My eyes were filling with tears and I refused to let him see them. I jumped into his arms and clung to him as if my life depended on it. "Please come home." I said softly into his ear.

"I promise Kurenai, I'll be home before you know it! And I'll be able to ask you that question. I love you." He said placing one final kiss upon my lips then turning around and leaving my room.

* * *

"Kiba, Hinata, Shino, please go on ahead of me, there's something I must do." I whispered to my old students. They seemed hesitant but eventually headed off towards the ceremony. There was still time for me to do what I needed to. I ran as fast as I could back to my apartment. The day Asuma had told me he loved me, he had given me a bouquet of flowers. I had dried them and saved them in perfect condition. They would be placed upon his grave, and so I went to fetch them.

_'Asuma, you big idiot. You knew you couldn't make it back. You knew you were dieing after the final attack. Shikamaru told me everything. You risked your life for your team, a feat I knew you'd one day do.'_

I had reached my room and I slowly began opening the small wooden chest I had brought with me when I had first come to Konoha. Inside were only a few things, things I could not live without. Amongst them, many of the things Asuma had given me. I extracted the floral bouquet and began to make my way back towards the ceremony.

_'You big idiot! Making crazy promises you couldn't keep. Asuma…Why didn't you ask me!_' I thought as I recalled what Shikamaru had told me, and given me.

* * *

"Kurenai-sensei?" Shikamaru said as he knocked upon my door. I opened it, expecting, half heartedly, to see Asuma with him. "I have some bad news for you." He said. His eyes were swollen and red, and inside his mouth hung a cigarette.

"Shikamaru, I thought you hated Asuma's smoking? Where is he? Is he alright?" I asked fear filling my voice as I frantically looked about for Asuma, praying he would pop out from behind a corner.

"I do, but it's something I'll take up from now on. Asuma-sensei…he…he's….he was killed by the Akatsuki Kurenai-sensei. I'm so sorry." He said, tears appearing anew within his eyes. I felt my own eyes sting with tears I did not wish to shed.

"Did he go in peace?" I asked my voice cracking as I spoke. I glanced at Shikamaru, my only tie to Asuma and what had occurred. The boy shifted his heels and turned to face me, putting his hand into his pocket.

"Kurenai-sensei, he went smoking and smiling. I believe he will rest in peace. He left me a message for you. He said this, 'Kurenai, I love you, and I will always love. The Question was such, marry me.' And then he passed on. I'm sorry." Shikamaru said, passing me a velvet box. Before I could grasp it, I was on my knees, the tears streaming down, my heart aching as if it was I who had been pierced and not Asuma.

* * *

"Kurenai?" a voice called to me as I was nearly at the Hokage's mansion where the ceremony would be taking place. I whirled around, tears mixing with rain upon my cheeks. Kakashi stood at my back, his visible eye red and swollen as well.

"Kakashi," I said. I tried to dry my eyes to no avail, the tears refused to stop this time. I felt myself lose my balance and begin to fall to my knees. I never met the pavement. Kakashi held me in his arms. "Why did he have to go and die!" I cried angrily at the sky. Kakashi held me; I felt a moist droplet hit my shoulder. But the drizzle had stropped. Looking up I saw that Kakashi was also crying.

"Asuma was a good man, one of the best. He was also a great friend to me. Losing him was devastating to me; I can only imagine how losing him must feel to you Kurenai. But death is in our job descriptions. We are Ninja; the chance of death is ever present. Asuma was a proud man, and seeing you like this, no, seeing US like this, wouldn't make him too happy." Kakashi said, a mild smile spreading beneath his mask.

"I know you're right, but it hurts so much." I said. After he had left, I placed the ring from Asuma that Shikamaru had given me onto my ring finger. Kakashi noticed it and hugged me tighter.

"We should get going the ceremony will be starting soon. Assume wouldn't pleased if we were late." And with that, hand in hand, we crossed the distance towards the mansion just as the downpour began as well as the ceremony.

(I cried when I read the chapter of the manga. The marriage etc… is just my speculation. Read, review, enjoy. RIP Asuma!)


End file.
